Why are women always so against each other? As a woman who has suffered from this sisterhood wound (without even having any sisters) I know it is a very real thing. We get this idea early on that girls are evil, manipulative and untrustworthy. In most cases we are proven right again and again as we navigate our way through life. Even the amazing relationships always seemed to fall apart sooner or later. Some ended so traumatically we promise to never open up to a relationship like that again. My awful relationships started when I was young, my mother was my worst enemy or best friend sometimes. She tore me down when she felt jealousy but was the woman I looked up to most sadly. So where does this wound come from? We all have a different answer.
When I first realized I had a major problem with women relationships I was in high school. The three girls I had been close to basically my whole life turned my world upside down. They made up nasty rumors and told me off the day I got my braces on even, omg talk about humiliating. The worst part one of them was still my friend but in front of the other two girls she would pretend she also hated me, every day was torture. I’m not innocent at all , but I never wanted any of that pain. We were all awful to each other in different ways. MySpace and social media was just coming out and I got a first look at online bullying from one of the girls. School was the worst though. I’d come home crying most days and that pain stayed with me for years, sometimes I feel I’m still healing from it but it’s my choice to choose to see the beauty in connections with other women and instead of projecting I have chosen to be aware. I have forgiven the girls involved and I have forgiven myself but the question still stuck how was it so easy for all of us to hurt each other so deeply. Why was this pain in all of my female relationships.
When we feel unsafe in our relationships it brings out the worst in us. The only answer is to take responsibility for our actions and our lives. I choose to have loving relationships with everyone in my life. This doesn’t mean everything is perfect in my female relationships now but I choose to choose people who choose me. Those girls in high school never chose me or themselves, I wasn’t choosing myself and I didn’t feel loved, something I carried into my adult relationships. Forgiveness was for myself and it’s the only thing that truly gave me closure and the ability to have nurturing relationships in the present. I’ll always hold those three girls close to my heart because of the harsh lessons I learned from them. I am healing through even more trauma I have been through with women this was just one example of how awful girls can be to each other. Even a few years ago I had a manager tell me I needed to wear more makeup because it looked like I just rolled out of bed……….. UGH and yes I’m human so of course I second guess my beauty and my wholeness without makeup, she probably also felt that way and she projected it onto me. We shouldn’t put each other down, EVER. I’m tired of not taking a stand next time a woman tells me some bullshit like that I am going to truly stand up for myself, I’ve been embodying this goddess who is declaring she is taking up space, I will live the way that makes sense to me. This world is rough, not everyone will support you. That’s why I choose not to be around women who put other women down. I am lifting my ladies up and that’s why I must surround myself with women who lift me up. For all of the women I once had a toxic relationships with, I am sorry. For all of the women who lifted me up when I didn’t know what a healthy female connection was, thank you. Your love means everything to the woman I am becoming. I am so grateful for every lady who has been in my life. There is always space to heal. If you’re ready to connect with high vibe activating women open up to the healing, shoot me a message if you’d like to share your journey of relationships with women. Thank you so much for reading, stay blessed soul fam.