Endings can be devastating. It can be scary to start something new, but most of all saying goodbye to something you’ve been familiar to can feel like your losing apart of yourself. You thought that job would last but now you hate it, you thought that person was “the one” and the relationship starts to weigh on you. When is it time to move on to the next chapter?
I don’t know about you but I’m not very good at goodbyes. I’m getting better at them, and this hasn’t been easy. This has been on my heart this week, many of us are going through a chapter ending even if it’s just a few weeks out of work staying home.
As human beings we go through many life and death cycles in our lifetime. When a part of our life is coming to an end we may feel the need to cling to what we know. So how do we know when it is time to let go?
I’ve learned that when it is time to say goodbye everything around you starts pointing you in that direction. New opportunities come up, old responsibilities become routine and mundane, maybe things around you are changing and pushing you out, maybe things become unbearable. Whatever the case you feel an ending coming and it might be impossible to ignore. Endings come in the form of leaving a job, moving from a house you’ve lived in, relationships coming to an end or changing. You could fall into an ego death where everything feels like it’s changing around you including who you once were and your identity.
Usually when we are unable to let go when it is time to move on things start getting crazy almost like it’s slapping you in the face “bitch, what are you doing it’s time to move on” very unapologetically usually.
When we resist problems start popping up left and right. This brings me back to last year when I was still working as a server/waitress. For months I felt a nudge inside to leave that job. My favorite coworkers were getting new jobs, the money was not flowing consistently, and worst of all I began to hate everyday, every shift and every second it became harder to not lose my shit when things were imploding from the inside out. Oh and another thing someone was stealing from workers there (of course it was another worker). Two of my credit cards were stolen, and at least $40 more but had no proof. I could go on for hours of how bad it was getting but I truly didn’t even know where I would go if I left so I stayed. I resisted change and can you guess what happened?
If you guessed it all fell apart, you’re right. The last night I had there I wrote in my phone “this isn’t a job this is torture” going on with my complains of how aggressive and abusive my managers had been (I guess they were feeling the shifts also) the next day I was notified the restaurant was on fire. I knew this was the ending of this period of my life, but I finally had to move on in a forced feeling way. It was actually a huge blessing that helped me move on.
When there is an ending around the corner it is inevitable and extremely uncomfortable but trust that door closing. On the other side is what you need. I didn’t know losing that job would influence me to start a business but I knew there is no way I want to do what I was doing. I didn’t know what the outcome was but I had to trust and I’m so grateful I did. I’ve gotten to heal my nervous system from being in flight or fight everyday, I’ve traveled, I’ve met new open minded people, started a blog and so much more. That ending brought me the ability to create the reality I was wanting.
Goodbyes can be difficult. I’ve dealt with all endings differently, some come naturally, some feel like I’m holding on with every last grip fearing even the thought of letting go, but something always guides me into the right direction I believe.
If we are chasing things, those things are running from us. Why wouldn’t we run into the direction of things meant for us?
The things that light your soul on fire is WHY YOU ARE HERE. You didn’t come here to pay bills and die after living a somewhat nice life. No, you came here to set your life on fire reach your fullest potential, use the gifts you were given by God/Source/Universe, love, play, and create. Not work at a place you hate or a situation less than what you want or even an okay relationship. Money shouldn’t be the thing guiding us, that’s a whole other topic we will get into another time but sadly it’s what guides a lot of our choices. You can be scared, and most likely you will be filled with fear. That means you are doing something right because on the other side of the things we fear is everything we’ve ever imagined for ourselves, even better.
Letting go is hard but we don’t have to cling to what is not meant for us, we must let it go in the best way we can, because if we are holding onto things not meant for us how will we find the things that are?